Yoga Goes Great, Getting Home Goes Guate

YOGA

Triangle Pose

It struck me over the weekend how seemingly out of character this was for me. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be on a Yoga Retreat, at a lake surrounded by volcanoes, in January, I would thought that someone was confusing me with another person...but nope, there I was, holding Dolphin Pose, arms shaking, and soaking in the beautiful view and warm breeze.

Yoga has never been part of my vocabulary, part of my lifestyle, or part of my exercise routine. It is now! Audrey, a P.E. teacher who spent 5 years in an international school in Malaysia, is also the resident yoga expert and pose-holder. She organized this women's yoga retreat to help us better understand the poses we 13 ladies try so desperately to hold for 5 breaths -- a lifetime -- each week. I did not start attending her yoga classes until after Thanksgiving, when James and I spent a relaxing weekend at the lake with Audrey and her equally great husband, Tony. One morning that weekend, Audrey went outside to do yoga, invited us along, and in that short time I gained respect for those who practice yoga. After realizing how difficult it was more me to hold these poses in a brief 15-minute session, I decided this was an activity worth pursuing, so I started taking her class. Each week, I am amazing and exhilarated at how sore I am in muscles that have remained unknown until now.

Although there are many forms of yoga, Audrey teaches the Ashtanga Yoga type, which has lots of power poses, and as one website describes, "The very nature of the way the ashtanga series were designed mean that they satisfy the caveats every yoga practice should if your aim is also to be physically fit in the traditional sense. The constant movement, and the pace mean you build up a sweat and get a cardiovascular workout." So this is not the relaxation-style of yoga I had previously been exposed to....it is physically demanding, well-paced, and intense! I love it. This article will give you a better understaninding of some of its other benefits.

Our yoga retreat consisted of 3 different sessions, each lasting between 1-2 hours. The first 2 sessions were more for teaching and learning (still difficult and sweaty), and we put it all together to do the entire series of poses in the final session on Sunday morning. We were looking out onto the serene Volcan San Pedro and Lago Atitlan for each session, and even though I was instructed at several points to close my eyes, I found it so much more peaceful to look out onto the lake or watch the clouds swirl around the top of the volcano!

Volcan Pedro (above)

Attempting a Head Stand (below)

TRAVEL

Of course, no trip in Guate is complete without some level of transportation drama, and this trip takes the cake thus far. Here is my list (in order of events) of the

Top 25 Reasons you know you chose the wrong travel agency in Guatemala

AKA: Top 25 Reasons Gran Jaguar Travel Agency wins the "Worst Travel Agency. Ever." award

25. When you show up a week early to give the travel agency -- Gran Jaguar -- a check for the trip, there is no written record of the itinerary and the front desk person is clueless. You trust and give them the check anyway.

24. On Friday to leave for the Lake, your van shows up an hour early. They claim there was a problem with the check, and they need cash instead. The van leaves to get gas and does not return for an hour and a half, even though there is a gas station less than 2 miles away. No explanation was given, and the trip gets off to a late start.

23. For the return trip on Sunday, your driver shows up looking like he's on drugs, drunk, or just mentally "vacant," as one girl put it. He tries to smoke in the van.

22. Your beat-up Kia van has a near-flat tire and squeals on every turn as if the brakes are going out.

21. Before the trip home even begins, driver insists everyone get out of the van to go down a slightly inclined driveway of the hotel. This makes no sense in the long run. See Number 18.

20. Your driver keeps touching you when he talks to you. (NOT acceptable or part of the culture) I was in the front seat. This happened frequently until I put my backpack up as a barrier and buried my head in my book and prayed fervently; I could not focus enough to read.

19. Your driver keeps trying to get you out of the van - he asked me 5 times "Do we need to stop?"

18. Your driver insists on taking the backroads through the steep mountains (dangerous roads - the highway's nickname is "The Snake") instead of the straight-shot highway path everyone in the van agrees is safer and more direct.

17. Your van breaks down (hole in radiator) near The Cave People - indigenous Guatemalans who are rumored to live in caves and come out to rob/harm people who break down along The Snake, which inevitably happens because it is so steep and windy.

16. Your driver does not know what to do except let the van cool down while you sit on the side of the road. The van always becomes mysteriously drivable when people become disgruntled enough.

15. Your driver asks to borrow your cell phone because his phone is out of minutes.

14. Your driver asks for a hug after someone lets him borrow a cell phone.

13. Your driver does not want to drive to a town where you can get cell phone reception or be around other normal human beings.

12. The travel agency who hired your driver -- Gran Jaguar -- keeps hanging up on you or is generally unavailable and unhelpful.

11. Gran Jaguar's best offer is to wait the 2 hours on the side of the road while it sends another van.

10. After driving for 5 minutes, the van breaks down yet again.

9. Your driver asks for hugs because "he is nervous" and then when offered advice, he tells us to "Callete" ("shut up").

8. The travel agency director instructs the driver to use the tobacco from "10 cigarettes" to plug the hole. No one, and I mean NO one, understood how this would help. Not the girl whose father is a mechanic or the girl who worked for a tow-truck agency for 2 years.

7. Your driver keeps saying he wants to get some water for the radiator from the nearest town, and ignores the enthusiastic pleas from the group that we have gallons upon gallons of water WITH us, so we do not need to wait; we need to find civilization.

6. Your driver hails down a tourist van driving by for water. See #7.

5. Because of the dire Sitting Ducks situation, you have to hail down a colectivo (truck), load in the back of the truck with all of your belongings, and ask to be taken to the nearest civilized civilization.

In the back of the colectivo. Audrey's face (bottom left) says it all.

4. Because of the lack of trust in Gran Jaguar or driver, you have to call your significant others in Guatemala City (2 hours away) to come and pick you up at a random restaurant in a random small town, and hopefully before it gets dark.

3. While in the colectivo, you suddenly see the van you just fled from driving behind you, flashing its lights, and the lunatic driver trying to hail you back into the van to continue the trip home.

Crazy driver trying to flag us down to get back in and journey on. Yeah right.

2. You have to wait 2 hours at a restaurant while the driver of your van keeps driving by and Gran Jaguar owner keeps calling you to convince you to get back in the van.

Waiting in Restaurante Don Mario for our men to come to the rescue

1. After men come to pick you up, and you make it home 4 hours later than planned, the travel agency refuses to refund your money or take any responsibility for the ordeal.

***

So, that was the transportation drama that found me at home later than expected on Sunday. It reaffirmed how important and priceless it is to have your own car and know who is driving you and where you are going. Luckily, in the moment, everyone (except for me, I think) had a sense of humor about the whole thing and really, once we were saved by the colectivo, spirits ran high and we spent 2 hours drinking beer and playing scrabble in a lovely restaurant, Don Mario. My friend Courtney claims I will name my first child Mario. Mario Mildren. I like it.

I cannot stress, though, what a great weekend overall it was, and how much I am enjoying my newly discovered activity, Ashtanga Yoga!